The moment the story broke Ricketts rejected his involvement in the plan saying it was one of many proposals being kicked around. Statements in the report however seem to reference his approval and participation in the planning process including an idea to use computer graphics to impose Obama’s face on a body double.

What I find hard to understand is how, in this world of hyper targeted political focus grouping, something like this could be overlooked by such veteran political staffers. Many of those responsible for the ads are veterans of the McCain campaign and explicitly stated that TV spot is the kind of ad McCain forbade them to run. The moment news of the campaign broke it was universally condemned, even by some Republicans (albeit tepidly). It seems to have backfired before it even aired which makes you wonder what would have happened had the plan come to fruition.

The plan is full of strange, racially tinged language and describes Obama as a “black metrosexual Abe Lincoln”. It also points out the need to hire an extremely literate, black spokesperson to defuse controversy. So if your black and can read very well Joe Ricketts has a job for you!

It’s a shame Ricketts won’t screen it because I really wanted to see Obama’s face on that body double.

You all suck.

Recently I’ve been on a bit of a Disney movie binge with my upcoming trip to the World itself looming. It’s a tradition for me to watch through a few the week before I head down to sunny Florida. The other night, I watched Alice in Wonderland for the first time in years and realized… everyone in that movie is a grade A asshole.

It started with the Doorknob. The Doorknob is a jerk. Alice is just trying to chase the White Rabbit (which I guess makes her kind of a jerk, just following this poor rabbit and inviting herself along for the ride) and first he tells her she can’t go through because she’s too big. Then like a total douche, he lets her shrink herself down to size, only to say “oops, you forgot the key. There it is, I just made it appear on top of the table that now you can’t reach, sucks to be you. Maybe you should grow a little.” Then when Alice turns into a giant and starts crying, he wants to know why she’s upset? Because you are an asshole.

Then we move on to the Dodo, who is a bird, sitting on a bird, being pushed by another bird through the ocean (Birdception) and ignores her pleas for help. When she finally makes it to the forest, she runs into Tweedle Dee and Tweedle Dum, the two most annoying characters to ever grace a movie screen (well, them and any role Jennifer Lopez has ever played).  Why are you telling a god damn story about oysters getting eaten by an insane walrus? Is that supposed to be comforting?

The flowers that she runs into later on in the movie? Total divas. At first they seem really nice, singing their cute little song about being flowers. But then they declare Alice a weed and kick her out of their gated community of discriminatory roses.

So who does she end up running into? The Caterpillar, who’s a stoner who speaks in cryptic tongues and has the temper of The Hulk. I don’t know what crawled up your butt, Mr. Caterpillar, or if it’s because your butt actually seems to crawl around on its own accord, but seriously. Take a Xanax.

Don’t even get me started on the Queen of Hearts (or maybe she should be the Queen of Heartless punks), or the Cheshire Cat who pretty much instigates the Queen and gets Alice wrongfully put on trial.

The one scene that isn’t full of jerks is the tea party. In fact, as insane as they are, the Mad Hatter, March Hare and the Dormouse are probably the nicest crazy people in the movie. OK maybe they wreck the White Rabbit’s watch, but he had it coming.

And as soon as Alice wakes up, she’s greeted by her douchey sister, whose treatment of her probably gave her these dreams in the first place. The more I think about it, the more I realize how messed up this movie is. Alice, you are better off in the real world. Wonderland is like Williamsburg, full of pompous hipsters who are too cool for school.

The show really outdid itself this time with the absolutely spectacular character pairings found in this episode.  My favorite being Arya Stark and Tywin Lannister.  Having finagled herself into being Tywin’s cupbearer, both have found a beat of sorts with how to interact with one another and I have found the scenes and conversations they have together to be unbelievably charming.

My other choice pairing is Jon Snow and the Wildling Ygritte.  Their walking and talking – especially the sexual innuendo Ygritte throws Jon’s way – made me laugh and actually made we want Jon to leave the Night’s Watch.

My final favorite scene included Tyrion Lannister – played by the brilliant Peter Dinklage – and Cersei Lannister.  They actually bonded in this episode, which is strange considering Cersei pretty much threatened the life of any woman Tyrion is foolish enough to fall in love with.  And there was the acknowledgement of her relationship with their brother Jamie which was nice.

I’m very much loving the way Game of Thrones is shaping up and cannot wait for what the conclusion of the season may bring.

Sure, she asks her phone if it is raining outside while it is clearly raining outside, sure she is maybe too cute for her own good and the old timey instruments strewn around “her home” in the generally reviled iPhone commercial currently in heavy rotation are enough to make you feel some sort of knee jerk hipster hate, but is this really her problem. Is it even the commercial’s problem?

I for one do not like this anti Zooey Deschanel problem going around in our culture. Not only is she the anchor of one of the best mainstream television comedies around (Fox’s New Girl), she has a lovely singing voice, and more important than both of those things she is downright charming in public.

The vile hatred being tossed at her iPhone commercial is not likely to subside from my protests and this is a shame. All the “haters” in the world are doing is denying themselves the pleasure of one of the brightest spots in our pop-cultural landscape. Your collective loss.

The X-Files has something for all us paranoid delusional types. It deals in everything from the spirit world to extra-terrestrial life to curses and cults, all with an impeccable degree of truth. Those of us in the know understand just how real these phenomena are. When I’m not yelling at people in the streets about the government I am using my crystal ouija board to communicate with the dead, so yes, I know a bit about the subject.

The X-Files takes on special significance considering the large amounts of paranormal experience we have been experiencing in times of late (Mayan apocalypse, Ron Paul presidential campaign). But to understand the future of paranoid thinking you must understand the past. I would highly suggest getting clued into the truth by making a hat out of tin foil, checking your home and bodily orifices for bugs and then barricading yourself in a room to watch The X-Files on Netflix.

“The Avengers” also now holds the record for highest per-theater average with $46,057 per theater, and for the fastest movie to ever reach the $100 mil, $150 mil and $200 mil mark. That’s 5 different records destroyed.

Even though director Joss Whedon is not officially signed on for “The Avengers 2″ yet, it is in the works, among plenty of other sequels to our favorite superhero movies, like “Thor 2″.  You know Marvel is going to capitalize on this success.

I, on the other hand, will probably add more money to their sum with plans to see the movie at least a second time. It was just THAT good. Besides as we all know from my love of “Cabin in the Woods“, I’m a sucker for anything Joss Whedon does.  So take my money, Joss.  I’ll just write you a check.

Eureka

God.  Watching this fourth episode really brought it home to me that this series will be over and done with by the end of the summer.  Ugh.  I am thankful however its sister show Warehouse 13 – which is actually set in the same universe – is doing very well and is set to air its new season some time soon.  It is little mercies like this that will keep me tuning back to the Syfy channel in the foreseeable future.

Oh Eureka, I will miss you.

For years as a comedy nerd I have felt that award shows unfairly avoid giving comedies their due. Yet, once this two year old awards show started I felt a little ill at ease with it all. Sure worthy winners were everywhere. Kristen Wiig and Bridesmaids took home several well deserved awards. Louis CK, the best stand up of his generation earned awards for his live shows and his brilliant TV show. Lifetime achievement awards went to Don Rickles and Robin Williams, those tributes played out nicely.

In the end though, the whole show seemed a little slight and awkward. Comedians are notably not into this sort of Hollywood praise fest. What was worse, awards for Best Club Comic (the remarkable Hannibal Buress) and Best Podcast (WTF with Marc Maron), that might have shined a light on work being widely overlooked by the mainstream were given untelevised short-shrift from the show.

In all I’m glad the Comedy Awards exists but I will not be having fun year to year as I inevitably watch it.

This fall we will be seeing a combination of Celebrity Rehab, I’m a Celebrity, Get Me out of Here!, and Locked Up Abroad in NBC’s forthcoming Help, I’m a Celebrity Locked up in Rehab Abroad. An all-star cast of celebs gets sent to a punitive rehab center in Burma. Will Gary Busey stab Meatloaf over half a bowl of cold rice? Tune in to find out.

Another reality TV show crossover I am excited for is America’s Most Talented Pet Bachelor. Here a group of 12 hopefuls will defy the laws of nature and reason in a bestiality filled romp. This is the setup: an eccentric billionaire left his entire fortune to his very eligible pet horse, Chauncey. Now it’s up to these men and women to woo Chauncey with carrots, nose rubs, and some stuff a bit to risqué to mention here! Who will walk away with the prize? The chance to marry Chauncey on national TV as the cast of 19 Kids and Counting looks on in horror! And yes, the series ends in the consummation of the marriage.

It was.

The premise is that five teenagers get lured to a cabin in the woods for a set up much like every horror movie we know. But what they don’t realize is that it is all a set up by an unknown corporation trying to…well, I can’t say much more without ruining all the twists and turns.

First of all, the movie is not the scariest horror movie you’ll ever see. It’s not meant to be. It’s meant to make fun of the horror genre and question why we, as an audience and as an industry, are OK with using the same stereotyped characters and cliche gimmicks. Why do we accept this and what can we do to change it? That’s the question producer Joss and director Drew Goddard throw out to the audience and they answer it with something unsettling for some: we abandon the old and sometimes do the things the audience doesn’t want us to. Because that’s truly scary.

It’s the movie that answers the cries of everyone who enjoy horror movies but are tired of them. Being a horror fan has that sort of contradiction; you love to be scared and you can’t stop watching them, but you know by now you need something more. Cabin in the Woods is part comedy (wittily written at that), part gore (just enough without being overdone), and part action film (especially the last 20 minutes).

Speaking of that last 20 minutes, it was one long jaw-dropping finale that would be sure to satisfy everyone. And it had an EPIC cameo. The entire movie is really made with horror fans in mind, the ones who know all the tropes and all the bad lines. And it turns it all upside down.

I’ll definitely be picking this up first thing when it’s released on DVD. In the mean time, I’ve considered catching one more viewing of it before it is out of theaters. It was THAT good.