A Glee Proposal

Posted on January 18, 2012 by kristenm

Warning: Spoiler alert

The theme of last night’s Glee episode centered around marriage…the perfect topic that teenagers should be talking about… The episode was hard to swallow for all those single, like myself, who have been surrounded by dozens of engagement announcements over the past year. Or maybe that was just me. Despite being completely ecstatic at the thought of Will and Emma finally getting engaged, I couldn’t help but groan when Will wrote “marry me” on the whiteboard for this week’s musical assignment.

Despite the sappy songs I was forced to listen to, I couldn’t help but swoon over the final number. My girly instincts won out for a change. (Go Will!) But the exchange before that between Sue and Becky practically had me in tears. When Ryan Murphy wants a dramatic scene, he knows how to lay it on thick. It simply reinforced why I love Sue Sylvester so damn much. She may have a forked tongue, but when it comes to the mentally challenged, she’s as fierce as a kitten.

It’s the few heartfelt episodes like last night’s that keep me watching. Because let’s face it people, this season of Glee hasn’t been living up to our expectations. And we all know next season will be a bust with the graduation of some of the best characters. On a final note, Finn proposing to Rachel?! I didn’t see that one coming and I wish it never happened. I don’t think we should be promoting teenage marriage Mr. Murphy. Bad form.

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TV Star Chef Won’t Give Up Butter

Posted on January 17, 2012 by kristing

Star of Food Network tv shows left right and center Paula Deen, has revealed this week that she has been diagnosed with Type II diabetes. While rumors have been circling for only a few weeks, apparently the queen of southern cuisine has been battling the disease for three years!

She’s got this in common with about 25 million Americans and about 75 million more are termed pre-diabetic. Might this have something to do with the fact that Paula has fried everything under the sun? While she told the Today show that she agrees that kind of food is a cause for bad health she has always “preached moderation.”

I share with you all these yummy, fattening recipes, but I tell people, in moderation, you can have that little piece of pie. Honey, I’m your cook, not your doctor. You are going to have to be responsible for yourself.

Paula has also been part of a shake up in the food world with TV star and world traveler Anthony Bourdain. Bourdain who knows good TV shows when he sees them does NOT think that Deen qualifies. “Her food is *bleeping* bad for you!” You tell her, Tony.

Deen replied with a drawling “Get a life.” Reports that she also threw a pound of butter at him are not confirmed.

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Warning: Big Bang Theory Choking Hazard

Posted on January 12, 2012 by kristenm

I’m thoroughly convinced certain television shows should come with warning labels such as “This show sucks,” “Bring tissues,” and “Choking hazard.” The last applies to my new favorite TV show The Big Bang Theory, a show I once had no interest in whatsoever. I would listen to my family members chatter about some guy named Sheldon, something about soft and warm kitties, and rock, paper, scissor, lizard, Spock. Yeah, you might see why I had no desire to initially watch it.

Then TBS decided to start playing reruns about 2-3 nights a week for 3 hour blocks. I saw 1 episode and was hooked. It’s absolutely hilarious. My poor roommate now has to suffer the sound of my laughter for a good 2 hours a night. What makes the show genius, besides being about 4 geniuses, is the blend of science and geek humor with the simple stupidity of even the smartest of men. You don’t have to be a comic book geek or an astrophysicist to find this show hilarious, although it does help. If my mom can find the humor in its ridiculousness, so can you. But be forewarned that you shouldn’t eat while watching this show. It’s one of the few shows that actually makes me laugh from start to finish.Thank you The Big Bang Theory for my many near-death experiences.

Bazinga!

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New Girl Withdrawals

Posted on January 12, 2012 by TimD

It’s been weeks and frankly I feel a longing and a depression I have not felt since my two and a half year non-relationship ended last February(I’m a guy in my 20′s, I have commitment stuff and I’m sorry). I miss her voice and the way she’d wink at me. I miss all of her annoying quirks, I even miss those three dumb guys she lives with who as time has gone on have revealed themselves to not be completely awful.

I’m going through New Girl withdrawal guys. I miss Zooey Deschanel or maybe more specifically her charmingly quirky character Jess. Frankly I am getting the feeling she is not thinking of me at all. Each Tuesday I sit down in front of the television hoping for new adventures and each week I get a repeat. It’s not that it belongs in the pantheon of good TV shows that I am engaged with, it’s that it fills an emotional hole that the company of a woman might otherwise occupy.

Basically guys, I do not know if I have the emotional stability to keep enjoying New Girl. Seems like ever time there is a hiatus or god forbid if the show ever get’s cancelled I am going to be left reeling. I do not think I can live like this.

Please come back New Girl and don’t ever leave again. I’m nothing without you.

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Prometheus

Posted on January 11, 2012 by OrenS

this movieRidley Scott, Director of Blade Runner, Alien and Thelma and Louise, is a mere months away from unleashing his newest creation Prometheus. Many of you may remember Blade Runner, because it is the greatest movie ever made. Prometheus looks like Blade Runner (Ridley Scott’s best movie) had sex with Alien (Ridley Scott’s second best movie). This movie was originally going to be a prequel to Alien, but Scott decided it would be cooler as an independent (but admittedly alienesque) franchise.

Prometheus has an all-star cast that includes Michal Fassbender, Charlize Theron, Patrick Wilson, Guy Pearce, and Noomi Rapace. The plot remains shrouded in mystery but loosely it is about a group of explorers who go looking for the origins of mankind but discover something more sinister. Scott himself described the movie as “… really tough really nasty. It’s the dark side of the moon”.

Unfortunately we will have to wait until June 2012 before Prometheus hits theaters. At his point both an R and PG-13 rated version will be made. It will be up to Fox Films to decide which of the two versions gets distributed (keep your fingers crossed for the R version). Will this film stack up when compared to other Scott classics? Only time will tell.

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Pawn Wars

Posted on January 9, 2012 by kristing

How many shows could you possibly create about the life of a pawn shop? Obviously, the answer is several. After the immense success of TV shows like “Deadliest Catch” and “Ice Road Truckers” they ran out of ideas for dangerous types of jobs and instead gave us shows like “American Pickers” and “Pawn Stars.”

A note to TV networks: not all jobs are interesting to watch. That being said, I will definitely be in line for casting calls for the next show that features bloggers.

True, the first iteration of the pawn shop show, “Pawn Stars,” was interesting. It had a cast of fun people and I actually didn’t feel like throwing my TV out the window when it came on. Then came the upstarts trying to capitalize on the success of the History Channel show.

Now “Hardcore Pawn” and “Pawn Queens” are vying for the attention of those viewers interested in that type of show. “Hardcore Pawn” lays claim to the title “First Family of Pawn” I think the guys out in Vegas would have a hard time believing that.

Truth be told, the only reasons to watch these shows is to see the cool stuff that people come into the shop with. But I think soon we might see a prime time smackdown between these pawning shows. I’ve seen the size of these guys and I’d buy a front row seat.

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Antiques Road Show: Too Hot for TV

Posted on January 3, 2012 by OrenS

Fans of Antiques Roadshow should make sure they watch Antiques Roadshow: Naughty or Nice while it is available for free viewing from PBS. PBS offers many episodes of Antiques Roadshow on its website but the Naughty or Nice special only comes around during the holidays so time is almost up!

Antiques Roadshow: Naughty or Nice amounts to all the footage that was too raunchy for regular Antiques Roadshow (I know it is hard to imagine footage too risqué for Antiques Roadshow. It is a veritable sex festival). Some of these items include boudoir poetry, a painting signed “To Horny” (Horny’s son brings it in), and other item too hot for The Roadshow.

It is not often you get to be simultaneously educated and sexually excited but this episode does both. I found I was more glued to the screen than during a typical episode of Antiques Roadshow. If this episode doesn’t arouse your interest in antiques then nothing will.  Watching this episode of Antiques Roadshow is a great couple’s activity, especially for the older couple who is looking to spice things up romantically.

Finally someone is recognizing our nation’s erotic treasures. Make sure to donate money to PBS when you visit their website. Those sexy antiques are not going to appraise themselves, you know.

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Guilty Pleasures: Cartoon Movies

Posted on January 2, 2012 by kristing

Why is it that there is some sort of weird stigma about grown ups watching kids shows or movies when there are no kids around? I’m not sure any of us could pinpoint exactly when it started. For me, it was pointed out when a friend of mine in elementary school pulled me aside to tell me a secret. She pulled out of her pocket a small Barney figurine and told me not to tell because she was afraid of being labled “a baby” by the other kids.

Of course, I never told anyone. Well, until now. (Sorry, Theresa!) But here’s the thing, I was bothered back then about not being able to tell someone you liked certain things. Things that you thought were good tv shows,perhaps. I’m not saying Barney was riveting television, I’m saying that if you enjoy something, you should be able to share it without fear of being shamed or made fun of.

Last night, I watched a certain cartoon movie. This movie was obviously made for kids but with everyone in mind. Disney and Pixar are both pretty smart that way. I had a hard time telling my friend that I was enjoying this movie so much that I was thinking of buying it on blu-ray. Then I thought back to that Barney figure and how I hated the idea of hiding a “guilty pleasure” back then and still hate it now.

Last night, I watched the movie Tangled and it was great. I highly recommend it, even if there aren’t any kids around.

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Kevin James Should be taken to the Hague, Tried, and Executed

Posted on December 21, 2011 by OrenS

It is a shame to see horrendous crimes go unpunished. With war and genocide springing up across the globe it can be hard to determine who the biggest offender is. If we look at who has consistently committed the most hateful crimes against film, culture, humor, and creativity we are left with one man; Kevin James.

Kevin James is responsible for such cultural atrocities as Paul Blart: Mall Cop, Grown Ups, I Now Prounce You Chuck and Larry, and most recently Zoo Keeper. According to the United Nations International Criminal Court he is still at large in the Los Angeles area is planning to be in another movie soon. I only support the death penalty in cases of crimes against humanity and Kevin James’ work as an actor definitely qualifies as a crime against humanity.

Kevin James has already poisoned untold millions with his acting. According to documents issues by the United Nations Commission on Crimes Against Humanity “Kevin James has brutalized film culture… children as young as six have been subject to his cinematic perversions”. The report goes on to state that if he ever made a sequel to any of his movies “Billions of people could be subject to what is tantamount to torture”.

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Movie And TV Debates Taken Too Far

Posted on December 14, 2011 by TimD

We’ve all been there. It’s a social gathering and someone thinks a talky high minded film like The Social Network to be “boring.” Idiot. Someone thinks that Almost Famous, one of the most touching films about growing up and the power of music ever made is “over rated.” Chump. Someone thinks that the movie Caddyshack has “aged poorly.” Nitwit.

This website is for you, AND for them. How could that be you ask? Fighting over this movie and that movie or this TV show and that TV show is a great American past time and we want in. When you decide that The Muppets is cluster-fuck of bad nostalgia we want to be able rip your eyes out with our captivating snarky word choices. If you think Boardwalk Empire is one of the good TV shows we want to be able to slowly and quietly rip that program a new asshole while praising the fine folks at Gossip Girl for their always top notch junk-food TV.

Importantly, we want to hear from you as well. Give us your opinions. Tell us why we are totally wrong. Put a big pile of TNT in our mailbox (or better yet the comments section!) and we’ll return the favor by reminding you how wrong you are.

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